Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The surf was still big, 6 to 7ft 2 days after Hurricane Bill passed a few hundred miles off shore.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Map of Jurassic Park Island where the long distance package was delivered to.
Yurgen Kirby, an employee of Charlotte based Velocity Bicycle Couriers called me on the gas grill 2 hours ago looking for logistics help related to his unique situation of being stuck in Jurassic Park since last September after successfully delivering a DNA sample to the Park's Executive Officer. According to Yurgen on September 2, 2008 he was dispatched by Swazey the Owner/Operator/President of Velocity to ride his bike to Charlestoon South Carolina where he would meet a man in a straw hat who would give him a sealed capsule containing the DNA sample of an extinct Dilophosaurus. Once he had the sample Yurgen was instructed by his boss to put the package in his bag, ride down to the port and with his bike board the rusty container ship the Emerald Sea. Swazey told him that the arrangements had been made and that the Ship's Captain knew he was coming. The Emerald Sea was bound for Antarctica with supplies for McMurdo Station and on day 20 when the ship passed within a mile of Jurassic Park Island they would send out a skiff to deposit Yurgen, his bike and the special delivery. Yurgen always in search of global adventure was so exited about this 'Special Delivery' that he never asked about the exit plan. All he remembers Swazey saying over the Crackberry was, "Don't screw this up Yurgen, it is a $143,879 billable invoice. Oh Yeah, wear your Damn Velocity T-Shirt because not only will the guy in the straw hat be looking for that but I want my business to be marketed the whole length of the way. This Dinosaur DNA stuff is going to be big I tell you Jurgen, huge in the future and I want that market mostly because I still owe Briko a quarter million dollars for that life time supply order I made in 1999!" That afternoon Yurgen rode the 220 miles through the night down to Charlestoon, picked up the DNA, boarded the ship and after 3 weeks at sea was dropped off on the western shore of Jurassic Park Island. The skiff coxswain realizing that Yurgen had no exit plan agreed to wait 6 hours for him to return while the Emerald Sea anchored a mile off shore. Plenty of time Yurgen thought to himself, a simple 20 mile round trip, that's 2 Stay Alives. A little disorientated at first Yurgen pedalled his way some 10 miles to the north east corner of the island where he found the office of an eager scientist who was willing to sign the Crackberry screen in receipt of the precious delivery on September 29, 2008 at 0815hrs. Yurgen rode away from the building struck by the beauty of the island. All of a sudden Yurgen came to a huge wall of electrified fencing designed to keep the Dinosaurs on the Island. He rode along traveling in the direction that he had come from but he just kept riding and never found the waiting skiff. Time lapsed from hours into days, then weeks into months while Yurgen desperately tried to find his way out of the electrified containment area that seemed to surround the entire island. He has survived by eating wild dates that he dries himself and these crazy prehistoric plumbs that grow to the size of A VW Bug. Yurgen has had plenty of fresh water that flows in the island's netowrk of mountain streams. A few weeks short of a year has passed since Yurgen left this fine nation in which we dwell and he just figured out how to get some battery power for his Crackberry by standing near the electrified wire fencing. The first call Yurgen made in almost a year after being lost on Jurassic Park Island was to his boss Swazey.
Jurgen Kirby stuck in Jurassic Park proudly wearing his Velocity Flair.
Swazey's Crackberry rings with the tone of the U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday in his cottage kitchen while he his reading the New York Times over an Owens Bagel and a cup of fair trade Ethiopian coffee.
Swazey: This is Patrick with Velocity Bicycle Couriers your 24/7, 365 day a year International Courier Logistics Service, how may I help you?
Yurgen: Swazey, Swazey, it's me Yurgen from your summer work exchange program last year!!
At that second a bolt of lightening struck 10 meters from where Yurgen stood and his line goes dead.
Swazey: Yurgen, Yurgen, I heard an explosion, is my T-Shirt Okay? Hello? Are you there Yurgen?
The lightening knocked out power to the fence giving Yurgen a chance to run for the beach which he did at full sprint. Once he broke clear of the electric fencing he realized that he had no where to go but the island's desolate beach. So he climbed back up to the beach side of the fence and when the power came back on he belled me up to explain the situation and see if I could help with an extraction plan. I called Captain Seamus, an old Marine buddy of mine who flies Harrier Jets and as syncro would have it he was aboard the USS Saipan LHA-2. The 24 MEU was running ice cores from Antarctica to Stanford University in Palo Alto on a super secret Global Unwarming project initiated by the Obama administration for Change. His ship was within a 2 hour flight from the north end of Jurassic Park Island where Yurgen would be standing waving the valuable Velocity T-Shirt to signal the LZ for Spartan. As you read this Yurgen has made the relative safety of the USS Saipan where he was greeted to a heroes welcome. By this time next week Yurgen will be in San Fransisco where he plans to settle down and start his memoir on what it was like to deliver the most extraordinary package in the history of Bicycle Couriering.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
So, come back tomorrow if you have the time and I will share more with you of our little bonding experience and all the little transfers that we went through to see honestly into our relationship with each other. Plus you may find the images from this part of the earth quite telling.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Yes, all I have for you toonday is a video post. This video is however custom made for you by me in an effort to give you a laugh on this fine Friday. Yesterday in the early afternoon a rain shower came through the Uptoon that caused the streets to be in near prefect condition to play around on the ole work bike. Take the 2minutes needed to watch the following documentary of what it is like to have too much time on your hands while at work. What else would you be doing with that 2 minutes anyway?
Interview with me shot by me, film of me skidding shot by Dude and edit made complete by me.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
CMA Breaking/Braking News: Here Dude is describing what it was like to grab a handful of front/only brake and then have the 8" rotor split into 2 ineffective pieces while couriering on the metropolitan streets of Charlotte, North Carolina. Workers' Comp will prolly not cover the expense to replace this part even though the incident happened on the Job. Workers' Comp will however cover any injury that Dude may or may not receive while he tries to get through the rest of his work day without any mechanical brakes and a free wheel.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Raise your glass, ceramic mug or styro!
Here is to,
One the Pro Racer in black and green Kit
the other a messenger not quite as fit
Road Racers are always watching what they eat
for this toast Diego chose a Rice Crispy Treat
The Road Racer trains 600miles a week
while the messenger laments, "The Future looks Bleak"
Carbon Fiber end to end make the Racer's bike light
Old Steel and no sponsor the messenger's weighty plight
Good Looks in Road Racing is definitely required
the messenger's appearance is not that inspired
Cadence and Watts are always in the Racer's mind
a heart rate monitor on the messenger you will not find
For a mechanical the Racer has a Team Car
in the same situation the messenger walks to the bar
The Road Racer usually gets all the Ladies
no doubt because the messenger is stuck in the 80's
Sure those Road Racers are completely elite
but in the end we ride the same Streets
Here is to us and to you, those who like bikes!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The look on Ms. Arcen's face shortly after accidentally riding over a vibrant green snake.
Approaching one of the many under passes on the S. Mallard Creek section.