Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Song

Every artist is a cannibal, every poet a thief. Finally the Christmas spirit that has been in my face since the day before Halloween is finally almost over. Yes, all the little twinkly lights, the happy music, the decorative colored paper, the electro animated stuffed singing bears, the huge boxes containing nothing but entropy, the large colored balls, the garland reindeer with one hoof on their top hats and the other on the light poles are finally about to get thrown away onto the landscape(perhaps incinerated in a huge burning facility for us all to smell) or stuffed in a box that it will be transported in by Saudi Arabian diesel to the storage facility in Upstate New York until next year's joy returns.

In the context of that spirit I share with you a remake of the classic 12 Days of Christmas that came to me last night over a glass of red wine. Please enjoy and feel free to sing along, you know the melody.

Merry Christmas everyone and your pet too...


On the First day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, a Surly Seat Post Clamp.

On the Second day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Third day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Fourth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Fifth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Sixth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Seventh day of Christmas my sponsor(that does not exist)gave to me, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Eighth Day of Christmas my sponsor(that does not exist) gave to me, 8 pieces of wool, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Ninth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist)gave to me, 9 work bike tubes, 8 pieces of wool, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Tenth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me 10 mountain bike rides, 9 work bike tubes, 8 pieces of wool, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me 11 months of Dirt Rag, 10 mountain bike rides, 9 work bike tubes, 8 pieces of wool, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp.

Finally...On the Twelfth day of Christmas my sponsor(that doesn't exist) gave to me, 12 cases of Fat Tire Amber Ale, 11 months of Dirt Rag, 10 mountain bike rides, 9 work bike tubes, 8 pieces of wool, 7 Tours de France, 6 rotor bolts, Fiiiiiiiive Nickel PC1s, 4 new 2010 Team Dicky Jerseys, 3 pairs of Swiftwick cycling socks, 2 Conty Gatorskins and a Surly Seat post Clamp!

1 comment:

Unibiker said...

MAN! I'd do anything for 10 MTB rides. I get less than one of those a month and even then they are local MTB rides.