Monday, January 17, 2011

Death Transfer & The Infinite Power of Synchronicity

I made this image of the rabbit's frozen solid body on Monday afternoon roughly twenty hours after its life force died in my arms. 
On the eve of Radok's murder last Sunday, a few hours after dark, I followed my kid and the dogs outside to see if the snow had started yet.  The freezing cold air in the form of a light wind hit my face and hands under a completely black sky as we made our way deep into the out back.  There was no snow yet, however it was coming.  My eyes struggled to make out the four dogs as they sniffed around under the trees in the pitch darkness.  Zoo's white coat stood out a few meters to my right front, she was looking deeper into the blackness as if she could see something that I could not.  The dog was perfectly motionless with her ears perked leaning forward and her nose in the air.  Ms. Arcen was behind me headed to her tree swing with one of the other dogs.  The mood was light. It was obvious that the approaching snow storm would cancel work and school for the next day which would allow us to go play in it. 

The Husky was still for the moment.  I stared at her faint figure for another minute or two, and just as I was about to ask her, "What is it girl", she bolted with a forward lunge instantly pulling herself into an instinctual sprint.  A second later she was gone, disappearing into the void of darkness in front of me.  Another few seconds pass and then a short but shrill scream hit my cortex.  Dammit, I thought to myself as I hurried towards where the dog had ran.  I pulled out the little flash light on the phone in my pocket and cast the light out ahead.  A tiny bit of that photon energy caught Zoo's clear eyes lowered to the ground, level with the rest of her body. 

When I saw what was at the end of the dog's out stretched front legs I may have yelled, "No!"  Over the top of the dog with one leg I pulled her back blocking the victim with the other.  "Zoo get", I shouted, and she did as I turned my attention to the adult rabbit lying on its side at my feet in the cold air.  Its huge black eye ball rolled around once and then looked up into the dim blue light emanating from my phone.  Immediately I did not see any blood, however something was horribly wrong, the hare's body was twitching frantically.  The rabbit's back was broken at a 90 degree angle between its front shoulders and hind quarters, its head was almost touching its tail. 

Just then, Ms. Arcen shows up realizing that something bad had just happened.  Understanding is the key to feeling and what she felt she did not like.  She screamed something at the Husky and took off chasing her back to the house.  My kid lost her bearing for those initial seconds disappearing into the sanctuary of her home leaving me alone with the broken animal at my feet.  Less than a minute had passed since I arrived to where I was now standing.

I shoved the phone back into my pocket and reached down to pick up the dying creature.  It was heavy, warm and liquid limp paralyzed from the hit of a killer.  Cradling it in both my arms, I pulled the warm incredibly soft furry animal into my center Chakras.  All living things are powered by an electrical pulse of light at our quanta, the core center of our being.  When I held the rabbit against my body I could feel its electric pulse against mine.  It almost felt like I was pulling the rabbit inside my human form, our center lights mingled.  Surrounded by cold darkness I recognized the rabbit's electrical center as weak and fading, it must of felt mine completely strong and very much alive not dying.  Minutes pass as I hold onto the rabbit tightly not letting go or running away, but looking in and feeling the natural course of death.  The rabbit's light pulse finally fades out disappearing completely as mine rings loudly and echoes off of the tall line of shadowy hardwoods in front of me.

I was frozen in time for maybe another fifteen to twenty minutes after the life passed from the rabbit's body.  It was a strange feeling, no more cold or fear of agony.  Just silence and a connected feeling to the energy around me.  Could I walk away at this point?  Yes, the power came and with a thought I turned around and made my way back towards the house alone with the dead rabbit still pulled snug against me.  When I got to the barn I placed the body carefully on the roof over the rows of stacked firewood.

As soon as I walked into the house and the light of the kitchen I realize with sight that there is a pool of dark red, almost blue blood in the palm of my right hand.  The blood covered my entire palm below my fingers and above my wrist.  It was already starting to coagulate on the outside edges of the circle.  A voice spoke breaking the silence, "Wash your hands."  So then I did under the warm water that took the deep red blood down the drain.  I watched the liquid blood disappear in the warm water and wondered where on the body it had come from. 

On Monday afternoon, the day that Radok was murdered I went to the barn while snow was still falling out of the sky and dug the rabbit's frozen solid body out from under five or six inches of powder.  Without saying anything I made a digital image of the body, then I carried it to the out back fire pit where I set the body down in the snow.  I got a fire going with the use of some fallen Hemlock boughs and other limbs.  Next, I stagger stacked several big chunks of split Pine forming a pyre in the stone framed circle.  When the flames got high enough, I laid the rabbit's body across the top logs.  
 Natural cremation, the rabbit's form makes transfer from physical body to rising smoke.  I watched closely as the heat first melted the eyes that had looked up into the beam of my flashlight the night before.  Then after the eyes disappeared as liquid evaporation the fur started to burn shrinking the body right in front of me.  There was no repulsive smell or thought, this spiritual event was running its course and there was no denying that I was part of it.  As the powerful flame heat continued so did the reduction of the animal's body.  Within thirty minutes of being in the fire, the vessel that carried the soul of the animal was no longer visible.  All that was left rose into the sky in the form of white smoke drifting upwards towards the now lightly falling snow and cloudy sky above.

On Tuesday Morning I went out to the fire pit and discovered that a few of the bones had survived the heat. 


Trevor Woodford said...

A great post Billy - Cremation was the best way for this to go....!

the original big ring said...

The rabbit must have been a viking.

Billy Fehr said...

Aye, to the both of ya....

reid beloni said...

I thought that was beautiful.

Billy Fehr said...

Truly, thank you.

Anonymous said...

Your ability to describe something is remarkable. Apart from that, I would say that it was sad and very kind of you to attempt to confort this animal. Spiritually speaking, I don't get the whole interconnected lifeforce concept. Animals do not have souls and man does. But you do tell a fascinating story.