Jiffy Lube Bail OUT

3 out of 5 of my morning Stay Alives last week were eerily quiet and in the gray density of warm rain. There was no wait at the Jiffy Lube all week. I think that Mr. Obama should continue with the perpetual campaign promise of Change not Change by federalizing Jiffy Lube. I mean it is obvious to me that 5 guys were standing around doing nothing on the clock of such a fine Corporation except hiding around the back of the building to avoid having their picture made by the crazy guy on the bike. So, don't they need their Jail Term Bail Out and does not the American people deserve to take a tax ownership of such a fine entity like Jiffy Lube? I think that we have to keep this thing going with all the cash or Middle Eastern gas available to throw at the problem so that we can get five more yards down the field by this time tomorrow. Change. The name Jiffy goes right along with how I feel about this great American life, Jiffy, like Jiffy Pop. Maybe Jiffy Lube and Jiffy Pop would combine forces under the newly appointed Federal Jiffy Czar(Male Monarch or Emperor). The new Jiffy Czar and former AIG Executive VP who just finished the ranch flavored tax cash bonus of his 4 million was quoted as being "Happy" to be back at work. This move will allow for the rebuilding of sustainable oil changes(including Ladies Day 8 bucks off getting a little sweeter by going up to 8.50) and cheap pop corn which is what we are all needing as we spin on the surface of the earth into the future. I see you peeking around the corner waiting for your Bail Out, don't worry the Change not Change is coming whether you want it to or not.

Uwharrie Family Hike Slide Show

Spur of the moment Sunday morning Ms. Arcen and I belled up the Boots family and asked if they wanted to travel to the oldest mountains in the world with us for a hike as well as a pastoral experience. 50 miles east of Dooleyville and we were there. a closer up of the baby who did amazing on the trail.

this little flower was growing up on a small patch of dirt in between the roots of a tree.

Taryn all smiles as she passes over the little flower.

Ms. Arcen already across the creek patiently waits for Boots to get whatever it was he was fiddling with out of his shoe.

Boots for Christchurch I wanna defect to sake what is wrong with your not so Keen Shoes?

A short rest among the boulders that are the center of a former giant mountain which has eroded over the past 14million years to this spot.

BPSI-Uwharrie-that's Bike Poaching Scene Investigation. Looks too Skinny to be anyone I know.

This crazy dahg had an almost perfect day. Here she is taking a sip from one of the many creeks we crossed.

The kid finds a spot while the dog drinks.

"Dad, I see something up there."

It's a sleeping baby walking in the woods.

Zula says: "If my day is so perfect why am I riding in the trunk next to the poopy shoe that Boots stepped in? It may be wrapped in that purple save the floor but not the trees bag but I can still smell it. Why am I being punished? It was not even my poop he stepped in, it was another dog who did it, I was smart enough to go 100ft off the trail."

Endurance Project #4

Late Edit-Shazam!! Please look at Faces of Dicky today, I am guilty by Association!

The 4th photo project that I have worked on for Joe Nuss and Endurance Magazine has hit the News Stand as of yesterday. Those first works that went to print last year are here and you can see the second and third ones here. The latest assignment given to me in early March was to come up with some photos which would support Neal Boyd's Bike Charlotte Article that would be in the April edition. I worked on this project with various riders I know and was able to have a batch of 25 images ready the night before my dead line. Joe picked the one I made of Kevin, the oldest courier in Charlotte who retired shortly after changing everything forever with his 2001 Critical Mass that brought Satellite Up Links and under cover cops to the square. As an aside Ian 'The Pony' Leone and I made the front page of the local paper that very next day rolling along in the parade through the square. Ian had his fist out and was yelling, "More Beer!" The caption below him read something like,"Disgruntled cyclists take to the street." Was the photog not listening, Ian was hardly disgruntled, just thirsty.

April Cover My image of Kevin and Neal's words, notice the credit in white on bottom right of image. That's my fly ride locked to the sign on the left.

A little Bio line as credit, photo of me taken by S. Lechner.

Scanning by Cardinal Feng of New Madrid University.

Full Contact ATM'ing

Jesse 'Dude' Hooks approaches Wacky Fargo ATM on Tryon thinking and singing to himself, "I got Bank, I'm talkin' beans, I always bust new routines...." This seasoned professional Charlotte bike messenger is constantly thinking about safety and protecting himself from severe brain injury even while making a withdraw.

Dude's spidey sense is on acknowledging that directly behind him comes none other than Shane McDevitt the Uptown Property Mogul who is Black Berry of Wrathing his way to his 4million while making a completely legal jay walk onto the curb from across Tryon.

Dude's Final words to the ATM in a quiet husky, deep slightly guttural voice: "Thanks a lot Money god, I appreciate the 20 spot but one day could you think about being able to give out Fives because that's all I really wanted was a 5."

Rookie Me Blind

The other day I went to the Library to take care of some important Library business and use the downstairs 15minute stand up peasant computer. As I stood there with my helmet on and fastened checking the blog roll I noticed over the gangsta rap quietly playing in the back ground that a uniformed agent of security was approaching on a pursuit angle directly for me. I looked right into her eyes as she walked up saying, "Are you the one who rides a little gray bike with a red seat and brown handle bars?" I replied, " Why yes maam, that is indeed my steed, is everything okay?" "Well, you have locked through the bike of the person next to you and now he cannot leave", she said with the blank expression of someone in the security industry. She radioed to the other security agent upstairs at the bike rack that I was on the way. I walked up and immediately apologized to the person that I was illegally detaining with the rookie way in which I used my 4.7lb lock though his cable housing. The first thing he said was, "It's okay man, I knew you were a professional by those wheels, those are some fine wheels, how much did they cost, actually how much does a whole bike like this go for?" That question is so often posed to me during my interlude with the common folk that I have come to expect it yet it still always gives me a tickle. As I freed his bike from mine I began a verbal itemized list of the retail cost(not what I paid or did not but what he wanted to hear) of my bike part by part all the way down to the bar tape and carbon head set spacer. He was impressed with the amount of money I was talking about as I ended the tally with the 2 Conty Gator Skins at prolly around 45$ a piece. I did not go into the whole it is not about money theory with him because that wasn't part of his original question but instead I offered a final apology and we rolled away in separate directions.

Is it a Bird?

Is it a plane? Wow, can it really leap tall buildings in a single bound?

We're not for sure but we have heard that it can also stop a steaming locomotive!

I got his picture, look Candice do you think it will be worth something one day?

I am truly proud to be an American witnessing this phenomenon.

Dear Lord, thank your for giving me the chance to see and believe.

Amen

Roller Man Says, "Thank you kind people, you all look so small down there."

Weekend Ride Report

Yesterday I was able to catch the mid-late early train to the US Brown Water Center formally known as Catawba, which has been presently transformed into a tax payer dollar/energy money hole needing their share of the bail out too. That's right folks since the first day I noticed the big swath of mowed down forest on this site a few short years ago I felt intuitively that soon there would be not so much for all of us to see and do. The owl habitat is gone and in place you will find a big lonely energy sucking aqua fun sanitarium where once again we as a humanity have proven that life is indeed good, better than any blue barrel can hold. You may be getting my municipal tax dollars but you will not get my freedom.
So the ride. I followed the dust of TD around the course on lap 1. We chatted about some things that I cannot quite remember but I do recall seeing tons of filtered sun light trickle down to the brown forest floor. The air seemed clean and the river was full. After lap 1 we met Clint, Eric K., Kevin, Ben and his dahg Bingo the Old Farm Collie up under the high power lines. After the Trials Comp we all rolled out in fine Single Speed fashion except for Bingo who trotted on all fours. It was yet another good ride with friends.

the winner of the trials comp was Kevin
not only because of his mad skillz but I do not think anyone else knew how to go back tire.

Heade Image Doc

Shot on March 6, 2009 approximately 440 feet off of the street facing North in the Hearst Tower. 1 of the 2 CMPD helicopters. They are named Snoopy 1 and Snoopy 2.

Know When To Fold Em'

I see your cute sleeping kitty and raise you foster smittens 1 thru 4..... The blue eyes of Monroe.

McFly-a true survivor who crashed a few days into the foster and was saved by Doc Syska and the fine folks at the emergency Vet. Check out his shaved neck where the meds went straight into his aorta then his heart that fateful morning.

Dervish-the red headed step child in all literal sense. This guy was a 2 week older loner from another litter who was thrown in with the original 5 others all starting with the letter M.

Monroe-with those eyes.

Mouser-the fiercest player in the bunch.

This was indeed an up and down emotional foster ride that began 22 days ago. The litter including the red headed step child started out as 6. McFly soon crashed, was saved, then was released back to us. 2 days later Minnie and Milk began to succumb to the infection and we had to rush them back to the Humane Society where they went under care of the staff, leaving us with 4. Milk passed to death and the inner light transfer 2 days later and Minnie at last report was not doing so well. These abandoned creatures are tiny and susceptible to sickness. The abandoned domestic animal problem in our region and country is way bigger than you could ever imagine. I will be taking these healthy litter trained kids back to the Humane Society of Charlotte tomorrow. If you or anyone you know is in position to adopt or become a foster house please let me know. These animals DO NOT NEED MUCH BUT THEY DO NEED YOU.

Ma Bell & B-ILL Communications

Ars: "Hello Billy, you there?" Billy: "Yea Ars, I am right here less than 10 meters from you separated by a glass window. Did you wear red to turn me on?"

Ars: "Uhhh, not exactly, I was wearing red anyways. Have you seen Lee, I found his bike but I am really trying to see him because I heard he is growing a mustache."

Billy: " Lee is sitting across from me, yes he has a new mustache, it is red like the jacket you are sporting to turn me on. Ms Jenkins, bark like a dog you monkey woman!"

Ars: "Quit fool, this is serious I am working on a photo story of messengers with mustaches, both Lee and Holt are on my list. By the way do you really like me in red?"

Billy: "Well that will be an interesting photo essay for sure. I gotta go, I am sitting in front of a giant hockey puck I found on the Albemarlean Traverse that I am about to deliver to Stacy. Yes, honestly you look great in red, I am starting to drool in Pavlovian response!"

*all photos of me courtesy of The J
*all photos of Ms. Jenkins courtesy of me

*pictorial usage not words courtesy TeamDicky.com

Giant Nude Woman Cleans Up, Gets Clothes

Pride You may recall being introduced to Stacy last month, the giant nude woman captured in the Jar during an uptown raid on Giants. Well the other day one of the longest career messengers in Charlotte and I were rolling around working on a photo project for April's Endurance Magazine when we came up on her cage. Stacy said that since being exposed on my blog the local Asian Alteration Coalition got together and made her some giant clothes and donated them to her free of charge almost making her feel as if she were a pro bike racer being thrown threads to wear with pride minus all the corporate logos, self deprivation and thoughts considering the oppression of Chinese children slave workers. Since I last saw her this giant Goddess was able to take a shower thanks to the CFD and as well fix her make up which was donated by Sherman Williams not Branch. The 3 of us chatted a bit and Stacy not quite economically back on her feet asked for a dollar to help send her big kid to big college. Kevin cordially obliged with a smile and we said good by to our new giant friend.

Drop Bars, Not Bombs(1)

The night before last motivated by 2 hours of Versus' coverage of this year's 2009 Paris Nice pro road race I decided to put the drops on my work bike. As I watched Contador attempt to reach deep into his suitcase of courage on the final Stage 8 in an attempt to get his yellow back from losing it the previous day I shed the risers and installed the dual pistolas. It seemed like a good idea at the time while I cheered on the peloton from the side lines of my living room. Yesterday morning as soon as I jumped on my commute I thought gunka runka these drops are low and I feel closer to life than ever. In those precious drops along Albermarle it felt as if I had a pistol in each hand that I was clutching like a rosary to fend off anyone seeking last minute dough nuts at the Dunkin in affect giving me no other option than going up in flames. These bars give a whole new meaning to faith. I am scared of them and hope that I can get over my fear and master it. I rode my work day without tape and then headed to Ultimate to install some fine Cork/Gel. Seeing I am not sponsored by them I will keep the manufacturer unnamed even though some of you will figure it out by the image below. Speaking of which, if you look closely you will notice that my final wrap was erroneously done. I got happy handed talking to Mike about new tires and accidentally taped the left opposite of the right. I figured it out when I got home and made the aesthetic correction. Countdown to this morning's Scare Alive: 1hr footnote (1)-Dicky sent me a message thru Dude yesterday when he saw my bare bars that I needed a hipster T-Shirt that reads, "Drop Bars, not Bombs". Did you see Bike Rumor used a very fine image that I made of roller man? All you folks out there racing against him this year be warned now, he will be crushing you soon. I talked to my little buddy on the phone last night after 2030hrs and he was rolling stationary after a long wet day of work. YOU ARE ALL DOOMED.

Shots of the Week

Kid and Dahhg on cold wet urban assault Saturday March 14, Queen City NC

George Edwards is back in the Jar and those Irish Eyes are smiling!

The 8mm I had in my tool kit for no reason at all came in handy the other day when cabbie 1028's positive battery terminal harness clamp came loose. Shot on my early morning Westward Stay quite Alive now for what feels like an eternity thank you very much this past Wednesday March 11, 2 Thousand and mine.