Last Tuesday I had to interrupt one day of the week long Bloycott with the real story of Ms. Arcen going down in her first big wheeled crash. In a half assed effort not to forget the true meaning of what the bloycott really stood for I bring you this one day make up final salute, the "I need your money not mine to do something fun" Post:
I AM GOING TO THE MOON AND I NEED YOUR MONETARY IN GOD WE TRUST UNITS TO GET THERE!
That's right all y'all, I found an obscure Russian Commercial Space Travel Firm out of the Omsk region of the former Soviet Union. This company uses out dated equipment and technology flown by skilled members of the Russian equivalent to Alcoholics Anonymous for ex-astronauts to get those lucky enough who can afford it into orbit. Once I made contact with the operations guy we agreed in mostly English that for the low price of 783,475 U.S. dollars he himself will make the extra effort needed to take me to the moon for about a 2 or 3 day stay depending on the lunar cycle. He also mentioned that he will have to study up on all the 'physical science' variables for our safe return to earth aka this spinning rock we are living on. This agency normally does not go all the way to the moon but when I told him about my blog and military experience he said I was automatically qualified. A receptionist at one of the firms I work for heard about my world wide pan handling story yesterday and donated $20 so that she could read about my observations from the moon which will give her a glimmer of hope in such a desperate time. That leaves me with only $783,455 left to raise which should be easy considering how many of you out there are not really doing anything as great as going to the moon and would love to live vicariously through me which will give your life more meaning. So with that said please make a cash donation(even fives and tens will help) here and then pass this post on to as many people that you know that would like to see me do something really cool that I cannot presently afford financially. In return for all y'alls donations I will not only think about you daily but I will scratch your names into the surface of the moon. Thank you very much in advance for your money and sympathy. This is what I am going to say when I get there, "This is one small step for man, one giant leap for me!"
DISCLAIMER: If my fund raising efforts end up ANY amount short of my $783,475 goal I will personally return signed copies of your cash via the U.S.P.O. mail service in a .47cent stamped envelope marked 'Moon Money'.
*Above Photographic Art provided by Phureeous