Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Smacked Down

I was taught a while ago, more than a decade that every single physical pain is directly related to an emotional imbalance. If that sounds like energy talk or even perhaps a touch of shamanism it is not meant to, it is just a philosophy that I have been able to see the truth in. I have made the connection that when one's own emotional self is not completely whole which can happen from time to time on this ever spinning earth, in this continually expanding cosmos pain does set in. Sometimes it manifests internally and others it can come in a quick smack down to the ground.

For example yesterday. I had just picked up my 1015hrs & 1030hrs circuit of court work and was descending 3rd St when I had a thought about how much longer would this bike livity life continue in an age of change not change. In my mind I realized that change for me will only happen when I take the actions that do such. Up onto the curb at the Government Center block doing what I do every single morning which may have been the catalyst for thoughts of the continual actions that brought me to that now. Just where I usually make a hard left to go under the sky walk of the old courthouse to the new were 2 female motionless pedestrians smoking grits. The one with her back to me was going to step backwards, I felt it as I approached and on instinct only I turned left 3 meters or so before I normally do to avoid her move before she even realized she was about to. My front wheel unexpectedly sunk into the fresh edging where the grass meets the curb. I launched from the cockpit forward to the left and downward towards the center of the earth. Just before I made contact my 4.7lb lock shot out of my chest strap, slammed into the ground and ricocheted up into my forward falling eye socket after being deflected by my sun glasses. Then I hit and a bike part, I am not sure if it was a pedal or the end of the bars smashed the top of my right hand on impact.
I heard the pedestrian lady say something over an immediate feeling of cloudy nausea and stinging pain in the center of my hand. I knew my eye was cut open but everything that I was aware of at that second radiated outward from the burn in my 2nd & 3rd metacarpals. Yes lady I know I am bleeding. I pulled my gloves out to put pressure on my eye refusing the paper napkin entropy that she offered. In the darkness through the squint I could not see but I heard the voice of none other than the Single Speed 24Hour Solo World Champion from a few years back. Team Dicky? Had I died and heaven is Singley too? No. Of course the only crash I have had at work in just over 3 years would have been witnessed from behind by my little buddy. He had no official comment on the incident for fjear of ruining his deal with Moots. Off the record he did say that what he saw was reminiscent of riding with me on the trail, oh Billy is crashing into the ground. I wanted to laugh when I realized he was holding the throw away napkins which as useless as they were wound up in his bag. Then every one went away and I continued to the Courthouse not able to get my tool kit out of the bag. The next few hours were painful and confusing because of how the pain in my hand went towards my elbow. I felt like vomiting pretty much all day until I found myself at an Urgent Care facility out in Mint Hill. I rode to the first UC on my Stay Alive which was closed directing me to the one 5 miles past my house where I went to get the Montero. The digital X-rays of my hand showed that there was no bone brake but could not show what the Doctor identified as the source of the pain which is something called traumatic Neuropraxia where the hematoma(smashed blood cells) is so severe in a tight little area that the nerves in my hand are being squished. The pain should be 50% less in 7-10 days, I am glad it was not broken. They washed out my eye and offered 3 sutures which seemed rather like a bunch of effort for something so cosmetic. My indifference caused them to offer glue over the stitches. Glue? Are you kidding? No, it sets up in seconds over the laceration to keep it protected and clean for 5 days. I took the glue. The folks working in this little medical out post were really nice. Seems as if they all came in at various points to ask me about being a bike messenger. I may have been the first in messenger in their facility, a sort of anomaly but like I told them there are only 8 of us or so. Not very good odds to meet a real one or one who thinks he is real anyway.


Anonymous said...

Boy- I bet that eye is looking great today- Glad it wasn't any worse

Billy Fehr said...

it does.

Anonymous said...

Bill! Sorry to read about the crash - glad the injuries weren't worse.

Take care!

Spankye said...

"Neuropraxia"...sounds like what happened to my arm when you and dicky saw me after my wreck at tree shaker. mine still hurts by the way.

Anonymous said...

I am curious to know more about the emotional imbalance. I have been learning about this reference as well.
Thank you for your message Billy

springer said...

"He had no official comment on the incident for fjear of ruining his deal with Moots."

That's Funny.